Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Not about my backyard...

I have not been blogging much lately...ahem, at all...because I am quite sick of talking about me and my life. I politely ranted about the tedium and gossip of our lives on facebook last week, and wondered why we all share so much. Does anyone really care what I think about my eggs this morning, or the current state of the weeds in the backyard, or my excitement over Eclipse opening at the end of the month? I doubt it. And I am perfectly fine with that. I am sick of my own opinions about things to be honest.

I have been working on a book project recently, writing 1000 words every morning. Well, most mornings. I have been known to get side-tracked by planning mad birthday bashes, and out of town guests. But mostly I have been writing. However, this morning, I hit the gigantic PLOT wall. And my book will not allow me to climb over it until I figure out exactly what lies on the other side.

So here I am writing about me again. I promise to try to say something useful and relevant today. I will not, under any circumstances, talk about the weeds in my backyard.

I just read Greg Thompson's latest blog, entitled Space, and it resonated with me. If you do not follow Greg's blog, you should start. Especially if you attend Smoky Hill Vineyard. He says good stuff. :) I am not sure how to officially post his blog link, as I am generally technically stupid, but I am sure if you visit the SHV website there is a link somewhere.

Anyway, space. I was just thinking this morning how much time and energy I have since I organized our physical space. And got rid of about half of our belongings. It took about 3 months of very hard work, examining every single item we owned. It was exhausting. Sometimes I watched the show Hoarders as I cleaned out stuff. I am not a hoarder, but it was nice having someone else along for the throw out ride.

The great decluttering of the Lumsden home was immensely rewarding. Not just for the physical beauty and comfort it created either.

I used to feel there was never enough time in the day and I always felt...crowded. Crowded in our physical space, but more so crowded in my mind and heart. My mind was always racing and I was constantly striving for mental escapes. I am sure my feelings of incompleteness and clutter with my physical environment had much to do with this.

But did you know physical clutter usually goes hand in hand with mental clutter? My brain and heart were so muddled with junk- junk from the past, fears of the future, anxieties over today- that I could never have tackled the physical stuff, there was no energy left for that. I tried to let God into the clutter of my mind, I used to be very good at that, but I couldn't even concentrate on Him.

I had to clear out some soul space for Jesus before I could move forward in any way. It started in excruciating baby steps, painful little shavings of self reluctantly and gingerly passed across the table to God. He always responded with love and grace, and peace. The peace was what kept me coming back. Giving more to Him.

In all, it took about a year to clear out the soul space. And I am still clearing. But once I was at peace with Jesus, the energy came to clear out the physical space. These processes have changed my life. I no longer look at my day and think about all the things I will never accomplish. Instead, there seems to be so much time now, and SPACE, that I know I can accomplish anything I set out to do.

But the clutter creeps back in, doesn't it? Just when I've cleared out some space, finding some balance in Jesus, family and all the other stuff thrown at me each day, the Materialistic Ice Cream truck of junk comes by and I start buying stuff again. Busyness and useless stuff get back into my heart and home. Clearing out space is a daily process for me.

Well, that was a lot for today. Go spend some time with Jesus today, and hug someone you love. And wherever you are, go run around outside in the sunshine today. It is the way ten year olds dump all the cares of their world and it is very effective. :) Thanks for reading.

And a very happy birthday my beautiful Maise Brogan today!