Give it away now...

Give it away give it away give it away give it away now.

THIS is what I was going to write about yesterday.  Giving away love.  It's harder than you think. 

As I was dealing with my Labor Day struggles yesterday morning, I decided to look up Mother Teresa quotes.  Not really sure why I chose Mother Teresa yesterday, maybe God put her on my mind.  I mostly wanted a feel good quote that would be a little challenging.  I got a whole lot more. 

"It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start."

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

It was difficult just now to only choose three quotes.  That last one punched me in the gut yesterday.  I feel I do a decent job of loving my husband and our girls.  I could always give more of myself- my time, my energy- but I think we could all say that of ourselves at various times, right?  I try. 

The sad, pathetic truth is I tend to keep scores on my love giving with other adults in my life.  I am afraid to give too much, to love lavishly and without abandon.  I fear that love will not be returned and I will be rejected. 
Eleanor Roosevelt said this well:

"We are afraid to care too much, for fear the other person does not care at all."

This is so true of me.  I pull back, I guard my heart.  I give myself in small doses...just enough to show I care, but not so much as to feel the sting of rejection if my care is not reciprocated. 

Oh to give love freely, fully, drowning others deeply in it without desiring or expecting anything in return.  That would either be the dumbest, most unhealthy, boundaryless thing on the planet to do, or it could just change my world. 

I have always done this with my children.  I can love them completely regardless of how they treat me in return.  Of course it hurts when they do not value or respect me, but it does not touch my self-worth as their mother.  I just keep loving them, giving myself to them. 

I have encouraged a friend recently to love selflessly, to give fully in a situation, knowing there might not be an immediate return on that love.  That love might not EVER be returned in the situation.  But I know in my heart love is never given in vain.  Poured-out love changes the world, it changes us. 

This is my greatest wish today- to love without score.  To love until it hurts, and all that is left is love.  Being so secure in God's love for me and the unique person he has created me to be, that giving myself would only reinforce my calling and my worth. 

Give it away Val.  Be brave.  Stop keeping score. 

Peace dear readers.