Resolutions

Two blogs in one day? Can it be?

Might be three by the time I am finished. I have so much to say today. And for a writer, that is a very good thing.

Since I already posted about New Year's Resolutions, I thought I should share mine with you all. My most important one for 2011...

I am going to be a writer.

Yes, I know, I already call myself a writer. I do write occasionally. My friend Celeste, who is an accomplished published writer, says one is a writer always, even if one is not currently writing. I wish I could agree with that statement. But my lackadaisical inner self is slowly revolting against the freedom in her belief.

You see, I am a writer who never writes.

I want to. I dream about writing. I stress about my lack of writing, my void of words if I were to sit down and write. But most of all...here it is in all its sad truth...

I am scared and lazy when it comes to writing.

Don't judge me, please.

But something awoke the writer inside of me the other night. Jolted me out of my deep slumber of unwritingness. A remembrance of a time when I loved words more than water.

I was searching for a quote to put on my facebook page, and there was a name, a writer, tickling my memory. I did vague Google searches for her name, a writer whom I had once greatly admired. So sad, I couldn't even remember her first name. Finally, by searching a large mess of keywords relating to one of her short stories, I found her.

Flannery O'Connor.

Obscure Twentieth Century Southern female writer, never to reach the popular heights of Virginia Woolfe or Eudora Welty, but brilliant, and as great an observer of human nature as Jane Austen. I had always wanted to be a writer, but her writings made me realize I could impact my little corner of the world with my words.

I read her quotes for two hours the other night. Finally chose one and stuck it up on my facebook page.

Finding her writings was like finding myself again after a long coma. I have struggled for years wondering what kind of writer I am, what my "voice" sounds like. I have found it. It was there all along, buried with my fears and apathy.

So, I may be a writer already, one who has not yet written. Or maybe I am becoming a writer as I put down words. Who knows? All I know is that in 2011 I will write. A lot. It is in my bones, I know with all of me God created me to write. So I shall set aside my fears and laziness and work hard, even when I do not want to, even when there are no quick words ready. I have learned there are always words, one must just sometimes dig them up out of deep ground.

There it is, my huge, gigantic New Year's resolution. Pray for me as I live it out in 2011, please. And please share yours with me so I can pray and support you also. :)